mnmkbchSay to the weary one, “Your God will surely come.”

Dear self,

It’s time I stepped back from talking to everyone else and spared a few moments – and blog posts – to speak to you.

You’re doing it again. Taking matters into your own hands.  Trying to apply damage control. Striving in your own strength, like a hamster on a wheel. Telling yourself to push this to the back of your mind because there are more-important things to be thought about, more-serious needs to be met, more-urgent prayers to be said. There you go, trying to distract yourself from this, taking time to reflect on whether hyphens are needed to make that sentence perfect. See what I mean?

If life is like a sentence, then you need to understand that only its Author can edit it. And many times, He pens the most beautiful stories from the most imperfect sentences. I want to remind you that it’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to hurt over broken dreams.  And it’s okay to cry about it all. It’s okay to cry for the pain of others because you want to carry their burdens, but are too far away, too human, too helpless to be of any help. If you didn’t feel their pain, you probably wouldn’t pray.

It’s okay to ask God all the tough questions, because not only does He have the answers… He can also understand your thoughts afar off, so He knows you want to ask them. Go ahead – talk to Him. He is not afraid of your questions, nor is He insecure. Revel in the beauty of His love, and know that while not every “Why?” is met with a “Because…”, one admonition is constant, and applies to every situation, good or bad: Be still, and know that I am God. Rest in His ability to still your soul. Know that you are in this relationship for the long haul – for the eternal haul! – and there is no “getting some space” from God.

Life is full of curveballs, and they are always carefully timed. Try to remember that they have no bearing on the Father’s love for you, and that although they serve to neither increase nor diminish it, spanners in the works and holes in buckets are often proof of this boundless love. Remember that just like you will always have haters and enemies, you will always have lovers and friends. No matter how many things go wrong, there will always be more things going right. You have an accuser, but you also have an Advocate. Knowing even failures you have not yet encountered, this Advocate found a special place in His glorious plan and carved it just for you.

Wait calmly for God alone, my soul, because my hope comes from him (Psalm 62:5). Never allow the experiences of a day to cause you to disbelieve the truths of an eternity. Do your part and let things go. If you’re numb and have nothing more to give, then you are in that beautiful place where you have no choice but to truly relinquish a control that always belonged to God. In learning what will surely fail, you are one step closer to knowing what absolutely won’t. But if you fear that you will fail because you failed before; if you fear that you will be hurt because you were hurt before, that one step forward will morph into two steps back. If you are praying, He is working, and because He is on the throne, everything has no choice but to be alright.

So do not be afraid. After you have cried every tear and said every prayer, allow yourself to see just how blessed you are. It is often when you have come to the end of yourself that you will find you have arrived at the “beginning” of God.

Stay faithful.

Pea.